People often ask me which kind of relation I have. Because you always catch me up alone – on parties, in the club, while driving or in a café. But I am no single, no loner or hermit. I am already taken and even really happy in my relation. However, it is hard for many people to believe that. Especially when I start to talk more preciously about my relationship. I am a casual lover, a part-time-girlfriend. My boyfriend lives far from really, really far away – not just in another a city or another state. No, he lives on the other side of the huge lake, there, where the sun always shines and life seems to be way easier than here. Exactly there I have lost my heart, there in Brazil.
My long-distance relationship lasts already for 32 months. And more than 10,000 kilometers separate us. A distance for which the word “long-distance relationship” even sounds almost too cute. I suggest that we should talk about hyper-long-distance relationship instead. Maybe one of the editors from the Duden reads my blog and in the next edition that word will appear as a neologism. Who knows. With the bonus, I can possibly pay my next flight to Brazil. 700 Euros is indeed a very generous pocket money. Enough with my wishful thinking. Reality will catch up with me soon, anyway. In particular then, when my brain can’t lead my heart on and it realizes that something is missing.
Basically many things are missing which people look on as normal in a relationship. Be it the physical bonding, the intimacy, the sleeping-together or the good night kiss. Even I miss those things from time to time, but I try to escape into my dreams and hope for a better future, plan the next reunion and I am still always excited calling him. I dream much, since I am in a long-distance relationship. I have learnt to make the best out of my relinquishment. And I know that only less people will understand that. And to be honest: I don’t care about that as long as we believe in us, in our relation and hold onto it.
Even we have our ups and downs. We fight, we laugh and we cry together. Merely and simply in another way. Maybe even more intensively because we cherish much our time together, more than couples who are lost in the daily routine. Sometimes I also want to have more routine. And then I cop myself writing a good-morning message to him shortly after I woke up and then I smile. Because this is my way of having a routine – he is the first person I write in the morning and the last one to whom I say good night.
Without facebook, what’s app and co. such a kind of relationship wouldn’t be on the cards. Because without social media I would have to create my messages as letters and then I would need my own homing pigeon breed. And forcing them to fly over the whole Atlantic all the time, that would be real animal torture and soon PETA would be just around my corner. All right, that we live in a globalized world in which I can live down 10,000 kilometers and five hours time distance in just one millisecond.
In spite of my hymn of praise I can’t deny that in my darker hours I long for a normal relationship, for that kind of boring “I-can-see-you-whenever-I-want-thing”. And we already aim at that, follow the ordinary people’s example, just not to attract too much attention anymore. Especially on Valentine’s Day this is really difficult as a part-time girlfriend. But this should change! This will change! Before then I will remain with the words: I rather love exceptionally instead of being without you for just one day – virtually of course!